Monday, April 05, 2004

Reader's Last Meal's--Opening Day Edition

Andrea from KY. The last meal has been revised to make the biggest mess possible after meeting the needle AND to give me a good time before I go:

12 raw oysters with hot sauce and lemon, Platter of fried oysters with tartar sauce and hush puppies, Onion rings and ketchup, Six tacos with hot sauce, Extra spicy chicken pad tha, Conch fritters, Sweet potato chips (the thick kind), Fried eggplant with marinara sauce, General Tso's chicken, Beef steak tomatoes with mozzarella and oil and vinegar, Cheeseburger from Wilson's Pool Hall in Versailles with everything, Chile Rellenos with guacomole, Lot of Merlot, Several cuban cigars...*Burp* I'm ready to go!!!


JP, a legend in his own mind, from Asheville, NC:

To start: Once Dozen Cold Boiled Extra Jumbo Shrimp with lemon wedges, fine sea salt, and spicy cocktail sauce.
2nd Course: One soft shell crab po boy on fresh baguette with homegrown tomato, lettuce, gralic butter, and light
mayo. Entree: 16 oz. Black angus sirloin, rare side of medium, with a side of pickled okra and dad's vidalia onion casserole. Dessert: 1 small slice of peanut butter pie with a scoop of homemade vanilla bean ice cream AND 1
juicy slice of poontang pie, preferably vanilla flavor. Beverage: Hot arab mint tea and ice water with lime. Also, one thin Andes after dinner mint and a wetnap for after the poontang pie.

Thanks, Warden. May God have mercy on my soul.


DAYM from parts unknown...

Nothing... too extravagent.... yes, i know booze isn't allowed on death row, but how about drugs?

1 double cut filet mignon wrapped in bacon with a cabernet sauvignon demi glace sauce; one very loaded potato (ridiculous amounts of bacon, sour cream, butter, and a sprinkling of chives) with a bottle of sea salt and freshly ground pepper. 1 bottle of Cakebread Cellars Cabernet Sauvignon, whatever age they can obtain; 6 sea scallops wrapped in bacon with an apricot chutney, 3 sierra nevada pale ales; 1 homemade apple pie (my recipe); 1 large bowl of gnocci, with sweet italian sausage, 3 large meatballs with 5 yr old shaved parmasean cheese, 1 loaf of italian bread with 2 sticks of butter, warm of course; a dozen pizzelli's; 36 oz of milk chocolate mousse with white and dark chocolate ganache with fruit salsa and chocolate dipped butter cookies; 3 oz neat 32 yr old Laphroig scotch, with a glass of water from the Highlands; 1 large order of cajun style onion rings; 2 pieces of fried dough with loads of butter and confectioners sugar; 4 pieces of texas style french toast with 1/2 lb of crispy maple bacon, large order of hashbrowns and 2 sausge biscuits and 24 ox of fresh squeezed Florida orange juice; 3 fried chicken breasts of extra tasty crispy (ala KFC); 1 large, extra roast beef sandwich (hot) with bbq sauce on a butter toasted bun; 1 order general gau chicken with beef fried rice, 1 order terriyaki beef, 3 egg rolls, 1 order of boneless spareribs, and a large order of plain wontons, with northeastern style duck sauce (apple sauce, apple juice, and sugar); 1 large triple pepperoni pizza, deap dish (ala Pizza hut); 1 thin crust cheese pizza (ala Papa Johns); 1 order of Tikki Marsala Chicken with a large order of jasmine rice and an order of vegetable pakoras; 10 10 mg pills of dronabinol; 3 packs of Marlboro No. 27 blend cigarettes; 5 pills of secobarbital; 15 pills of desoxyn; 20 cc's valium; 10 bottles of liquid cocaine (ala Eyedrops), and one 10 cc needle/syringe; 1 handmade, thick, 12 oz ground sirlon beef, extra bacon, extra pickles, and 1 yr old aged cheddar cheese burger on a toasted bun medium rare; 1 pint of pistachio ice cream; a thai style massage with a very hot cute, bottom, boy... lubbed, of course; 36 oz coca-cola. I think that would satiate me, till the afterlife, where i would haunt everyone till eternity...... one could only hope that i get let back on the earth as some walking demon to avenge things done wrong to me over the years. :-)


Frank K. from parts unknown...

A big wedge of ice-burg lettuce covered in bleu cheese and bacon bit dressing, 1/2 dozen jumbo shrimp, 1/2 dozen chilled oysters on the 1/2 shell, 20oz rib-eye, medium rare, double stuffed baked potato (with bacon and cheddar), sauteed escarole in butter and garlic, and either a big bottle of Merlot or a few pints of Guinness Stout

God save the Queen!


jason from parts unknown...

one crispy duck typan with 2 pints of beer. one chocolate dethday cake with 6 candles. one villina icecream + 3 cheese bergers with radish. one rost terkey and a pack of cuban cigars along with a pint of russian vodca and rum.


Scott T, Nashville, Tennessee...

These don't have to be served to me in any particular order, but can be grouped by ethnicity...

Vietnamese Bahn Mi (baguette bread, meatball, jalapeno, cilantro, daikon), Small bowl of Vietnamese Pho Bo (beef noodle soup), A half dozen buffalo wings with celery and blue cheese dressing, a big hunk of alderwood smoked salmon, hummous, baba ganouj and pita bread, half a Muffuleta sandwich from Central Grocery in New Orleans, A couple pieces of Tandoori chicken, a hunk of pepper jack cheese, a thin crust bacon and onion pizza from Pizza Hut, a basket of fish n chips and a couple of egg rolls from Jack-In-The-Box, Diet Pepsi Vanilla, A box of Whitman Sampler chocolates, A pack of Camel Marguarita Mixer cigarettes!

Does this prison have a vomitorium? If so, give me the cell right next to it.